Thursday, July 3, 2008

How much should you trust your mother or your mother-in-law?

How much should you trust your mother or your mother-in-law when it comes to choosing your vendors in the wedding planning process? I know it's not just my mom that wants everything for cheap and for less. Many Korean moms will know at least one vendor that is owned by her friends or by her co-workers. And she will tell you something like this; " Oh, I have a close friend who is a florist and I'm sure she will give you a good deal. She doesn't have her own shop but it's okay. She's good. " Umm... Mom, Hello? If the florist doesn't own a proper shop, most likely she's not professional and how will she maintain the freshness of flowers when she doesn't have a flower fridge?
Of course, you want your mothers to be involved - definitely you shouldn't ignore their opinions, but you should trust your instincts when it sounds too good to be true or sounds too ghetto. Here's another classic example. Your mother-in-law will tell you, " I know the owner of a Korean catering company and she recently opened up her new business. Everything is not set up yet but she's such a good cook! You should get your wedding food through them" (I'm not making up these examples. These are real stories that I faced or my clients have asked me for advice on)
In this case, you should thank her for a kind suggestion, but politely say no.

If it's not a legitimately owned business, you never know what's going to happen on the wedding day. No matter how good their skill might be, it's very important to know how well they come prepared and set up. Please note that if one vendor shows up late, the whole wedding can be delayed. I'm not saying that you shouldn't listen to their advice. After all, they've gone through it all and they are certainly wiser than us. But please do trust your instincts if it doesn't sound legitimate and professional. With this thought, I would like to close with a quick shout out to my mom, " I love you mommy and thank you so much for all your hard work for raising me"

but this doesn't mean that I always listen to her... :)